Just Being
by the lola
Summary: "And although she saw the best, the beauty and reason in what Blaise had done, it didn't make it seem any better to her. He was throwing his life away for her – there was no telling how many years this could last for."


A/N- This is set around the time of HBP.

* * *

Daphne leant against the chilly tiling of the roof, clamping her jaw together to stop her teeth from chattering. She sighed, finally letting the relief flood through her now that she was alone.

If someone asked her, she would never have been able to describe how she was feeling. She felt sick, dizzy – like she was actually ill, except she wasn't… well, maybe in the head. She shook her head, trying to shake away such dark thoughts. Was it fear? She had always tried to tell herself she would never be scared by anything, but this…this was different.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to cry, willing herself not to be so pathetic.

* * *

_They were on their spot on the roof – their hidden spot, one of the only flat parts of roof that was perfectly out of sight so that no one would ever find them._

_Draco sat staring at the ground, even in the black of the night his eyes were lined by dark bags and his face was shades paler than it had ever been – he looked tired. A beautiful disaster in a way, Daphne thought. _

_"Draco? You called this 'meeting'… what do you want to talk about?" Blaise said, harsher than he probably intended._

_The blonde haired wizard brought his trembling hands together in his lap, finally leaving his mussed up hair alone. "Right… okay." He took a deep breath, continuing, "You both know there's a war coming… you have to pick a side. **They** want you to pick a side." He openly cringed._

_"Well it's not really picking a side considering it's clearly been chosen for us…" Blaise trailed off, looking to Daphne._

_"I'm not choosing a side. I don't care what happens – I'm not joining **them**, I disagree with everything they stand for, but I'm not joining the 'lights' either… they're just as full of hate as the other side," Daphne said in an unusually strong voice, rubbing her hands nervously along her lap._

_"Daph-" Blaise attempted._

_"No, Blaise… you can't choose this for me. I won't do this. You don't want to be Draco, and you **will** be just like Draco if you join them," She warned._

_"Daphne, I'm not sure you are aware of the lengths they will go to get Blaise on their side…" _

* * *

She shook her head again, not wanting to relive the memories again. She hated this, why was it all happening? Just like that, their childhoods had been ripped away from them – nothing was perfect when they were younger, in fact, far from it. Draco's parents were hardly loving but they were together, they were a family, and they loved Draco. Blaise may have had countless stepfathers but he always had his aunt and he always had Daphne, and Daphne might have a family that couldn't care less about her, but she had Blaise, she had Draco, she had all of their memories together and she had the memories of her mother.

Right then, she made a pact with herself to never have children. How could she possibly bring children into a world like this? A world so full of hatred and a world full of people that were so quick to see the ugly in things? No… she would rather have no children than children that were forced to grow up in a world like that.

And right now? She was angry. Daphne was never an angry person, always looking for the best in things, for the beauty in people, to find reason in something. And although she saw the best, the beauty _and_ reason in what Blaise had done, it didn't make it seem any better to her. He was throwing his life away for her – there was no telling how many years this could last for.

Merlin, she felt like about thirty right now yet she was only sixteen… there was so much in her life, so many incoherent thoughts whizzing around in her head that she could barely bring herself to speak anymore. Why was everything so clear at times like this, but everything so muddled at any other times? Nothing made sense anymore, nothing was happy anymore. Happy was with Blaise, happy was with her mother, happy was Hogwarts – happy was _not_ this.

Was the world this determined to beat everyone down? She felt so tired, so utterly exhausted that many days she would wake up and not want to go on anymore – to just give up and go. After all, what was life in a world without choices?

She sighed angrily, not understanding how she could feel this headstrong right now, but every other second of the day she was just falling apart. Everything that had happened with Blaise, it was all her fault. She was _weak_ Daphne, _messed up_ Daphne, _daddy issues _Daphne. They saw it and they heard it and she proved that she was everything they thought she was. And now, Blaise was paying for it.

The bitter wind rushed through the air, covering the sound of the window sliding open, and the one person Daphne couldn't face right now shuffling through it.

"I do this a lot too," Blaise whispered, not wanting to frighten her.

She gasped, startled, and then sighed when she realized who it was. "You scared me."

"I see that," He mumbled, sliding next to her on the cold tiles.

Daphne looked to the side of her that Blaise wasn't beside, tucking her hair behind her ears. "Blaise… why are you here?" She sighed.

"This is my spot too you know," He chuckled softly, "I knew you'd be here, worrying. Falling apart… like you-" He cut himself off, frowning.

"Like I what?... Like I always am?" She flinched just slightly, knowing this was exactly what everyone thought of her. It wasn't that though – she didn't _care_ what anyone else thought, but she cared what Blaise thought, always.

"I didn't mean it like that-"

She cut him off, "Of course. Its okay, it's true. I am always falling apart; I'm falling apart right now."

"If it's any consolation, so am I." He laid a warm hand over her freezing cold wrist.

She sighed heavily, tears now burning her eyes. "See… that's exactly what I don't want to hear – that pulls me apart more because it's _my_ fault your faulting apart!"

"Daphne… what are you talking about?"

"Oh come _on_."

"It's _their_ fault, not yours. It's never your fault."

"What if I killed myself? Would you leave them then?" She pressed her lips together in a tight line.

"Don't be so ridiculous – don't even think about killing yourself! It wouldn't make a difference, Daphne. Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater."

"But if I'm not alive they can't use me as a threat, you could leave them, hide, go to a new country, make a new life-"

He cut her off with a soft kiss on the lips, "You're my life. Any life without you isn't a life worth living."

"I just- you're not- you're not … you're not one of them. You're not evil, you're not a murderer."

"I wish I was, it would make everything a lot easier." He smiled at her.

"I want to go back to being a kid." She sniffed; silent tears slipping down her cold face and making it burn from the contrast in temperature.

"Even if I could just go back to a year ago I would… isn't it crazy how time flies? How we take everything that's good for granted and are so quick to let the memories slip away in the face of bad times? I don't know Daph, I'm starting to miss the simplest things now." He sighed, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "Don't cry."

"I miss being able to sleep through the night." She bit down on her lip.

"I miss laughing."

"I miss smiling."

"I miss feeling."

"I miss my mum."

"I miss my dad."

"I miss those days where I felt like anything was possible."

"I miss those days where I had not a care in the world."

"I miss you," Daphne said, without really meaning to or thinking it through.

"I miss you too – more than anything. I miss you, I miss me, I miss us. I want us to be _us_, I want us to forget everything that's happened and everything that's happening. Just for us to _be_."

"I think I can do that." She smiled through the tears that had built up again.

Just being… it sounded as perfect as anything ever would in a world like this.

* * *

**A/N-** Right… this is written for Fanfiction Idol Round Two – we had to write a story inspired by a song lyric. The lyric given to me was '_You know how the time flies_, _only yesterday was the time of our lives, we were born and raised in a summer haze_, _bound by the surprise of our glory days'_and it really inspired me! Ihad so many ideas, but I settled on this. To me the prompt inspired this whole story, and I hope you can all see that… I'll be more than willing to explain if you can't!

Yep, huge boring authors note… sorry about that. Anyway, I love all you readers and a review would mean a lot to me, as I'm awfully nervous about how the judges are going to take this!


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